I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
