Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
