Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
