PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
