He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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