you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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