The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
