You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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