Pappa wants mamma naked
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
