I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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