her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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