Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
