I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
