David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Too much gin, very little bucket
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Less talking, more tequila
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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