That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
