i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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