If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
