I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
