omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
