You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
