I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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