just come out here and I will go home with you...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
