sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
