um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
