You just made me feel so damn special
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
