"it" just moved
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
