help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
