Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
