real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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