jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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