Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We left the knife in your bed.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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