some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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