Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
