I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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