last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize