Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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