In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
