She announced her abortion via fbk
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We need to rekindle our bromance
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
