It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
