Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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