So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Randomize
