Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
