can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
