We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
