weddingsv make me drug and hornr
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
