we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
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