Swine flu is the new snow day.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
