she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
