I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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