I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
