Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
